God Only Knows

So we’re in Wisconsin this weekend because my Granny was given 1-3 months to live by the hospice care doctor due to her stage 4 stomach cancer spreading to other parts of her body. She hasn’t been able to eat hardly anything for several weeks, is very weak, and has lost a ton of weight. And even though my God is our Healer and can still heal her if He chooses to do so, it seems likely that He is calling her home to be with Him in all the Life and sweet relief from her pain and suffering that being with Him brings.

So I ask for prayers.

First for my Granny that she would find some relief from the nausea that plagues her and be able to keep something down so she can get enough energy to talk to us, hug us, or even just open her eyes….

Secondly for my family who is beginning the stages of grief and manifesting that grief in so many different ways and depths. Prayers that they would be a comfort and a strength to each other and that hurts and grudges from the past would be laid to rest in honor of my Granny who wished for so long that everyone would live at peace with each other and love one another unconditionally.

And lastly…..  Prayers for my own hurting heart because it is truly breaking. This is the first real time that someone edging closer to dying has truly saddened me to the core. My sweet little wonderful Granny was the best Granny a girl could have ever wanted. She sewed me clothes when I was little. She gave the very best hugs. She made us waffles for breakfast anytime we wanted them. She taught us about faith and hope and the grace of God. She taught me the value of scripture and the value of prayer. She was always a shoulder to cry on and an always avail listening ear. She was always one of my absolute favorite family members and someone I could always count on.

God only knows what I’d be without her….

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But the Tigers Come At Night

When I was young and unafraid
Dreams were made, used, and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung; no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame

But there are dreams that cannot be!
And there are storms we cannot weather!

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living
So different now than what it seemed

Oh

Life has killed the dream I dreamed…