It’s Gonna Be Worth It

Less than 2 weeks ago I watched my brother commit himself to love his new beautiful bride, Anne, as long as they both should live. Both of them are in their late twenties and had been waiting so very, very long for the right person to come along.

Matt_Anne

This picture just makes me want to cry all over again (I cried all the way through the ceremony as soon as my brother began crying). It is such a picture of the overwhelming joy and wonder of  God’s faithfulness:

Matt_Anne02

This next picture I am sharing just to emphasize how incredible their photographer was at capturing the beautiful and intense moments throughout the whole day. Here the bride is crying because her parents (who are in Europe and were denied visa into the country in order to attend the wedding) are praying over her and Matt via Skype:

Matt_Anne03

It was a breathtakingly beautiful ceremony and a really fun reception!

It is amazing to me every time I see such an obviously ordained story play out right before my eyes. They were made for each other. They are God’s very best for each other. I know they would agree that waiting was more than worth it.

It made me remember those times of waiting. I was about to turn 24 when I had all but given up on ever finding someone. Most of my friends were either married or at least in committed, serious relationships. I felt like I was being left out – on the fringes of happiness just waiting for life to begin.

I often felt like this:

I had no idea that I would meet my future husband that year in the most unexpected of ways. I just felt lost and lonely and forgotten about by a God who said He knew the plans and purposes for my life, but I couldn’t see them. It wasn’t until I resigned myself to be content with being single the rest of my life if that is what God had in store for me that Chad finally came along. A simple act of choosing to trust that God is good and that He had His hand on my life – even in the midst of hurting. Chad was worth every restless, lonely night I spent wishing it could be my turn to experience being in love. He was worth the wait.

Fast forward six years and I have once again come back to this same lesson of trusting God with His timing when I can’t see my future. Why do we so easily forget the faithfulness of God?

If God was with me then (even when I didn’t know it) isn’t He with me still? He orchestrates my life, not me. He isn’t moved by my worry or my fears, but by His perfect timing. So why am I sitting here wondering why all my friends are pregnant or have 2-4 babies at home, while I remain childless waiting for my life to start? Why am I so quick to focus on my lack and fail to remember all the times God brought me exactly what I needed at the exact point in time I needed it – not earlier and not a minute too late.

I think pain makes us desperate and irrational. Like a toddler who can’t fully yet understand the scope of reality and how the world is working around him, we grow fearful and anxious and we grasp for assurance. It is immensely hard to be single and alone and wondering if you will ever find your true love. It is equally hard (although for me probably even harder) to wonder if I will ever be a mother and to feel that precious hope slipping away. Instead of remembering the reality of God’s faithfulness and trusting that He is God and that that is assurance enough, don’t we all have a tendency to grow restless and fearful?

But here’s the best part:

In these moments, God isn’t impatient with us. God isn’t that parent that is like, “Well if you’re going to be like that, you’re not getting anything!!

God understands our frailty; He knows he are human.

God instead is the gentle parent who kneels down, looks directly in our eyes, brushes our hair away from our tear-streaked faces, and whispers reassuringly, “I know you don’t understand right now and you won’t be able to, but I promise that I know what is the very best for you. You can trust me because I love you so much more than you can even comprehend.”

And just like that, when we allow ourselves those quiet moments with Him, we can feel our souls take a deep breath. We can feel the weight of fear lift and our eyes fix themselves on that which we cannot see – because what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal. We begin to feel hope restored and we rest in the peace that He is God, He is orchestrating everything, and we will see His faithfulness once again if we just trust and wait…

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5 comments on “It’s Gonna Be Worth It

  1. Jennifer Henderson says:

    This made me cry. So beautiful and so true. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. sonyadunham says:

    Yesterday, I began asking God why everyone around me seemed to be able to follow their dreams, why was I not given the dream I so desperately desired? My talk with Him, as it always does, has spanned over many, many hours and a give and take of “I know that You’re working for me, and I’m trying to be patient and trust You, but I need You to show me, to help me understand that You are with me.” I asked this of Him, as I often do, when I’m feeling the loneliest, when I am doubting the most or when I’m so overcome with uncertainty that I know I’m essentially throwing a temper tantrum. I ask this of Him because I know, down deep, that He understands my insecurities, my short comings. At the end of these long talks, I sigh and give in to Him, saying, “It is Your will that I submit to. I know that You have something better planned for me than I can even imagine. Could you allow me to have some form of what I want desperately?” I thank Him and remind myself that I’ve been given so many blessings in my life and I wait for Him to speak to me, for the Holy Spirit to speak to my heart and to offer me peace. I wait for God. So, here’s the thing. I asked Him to tell me. I asked Him to help me understand why not now, and then you write this blog post. As I read it, I knew that in addition to the intention you had for this message, God was speaking to me through your words. In the past, I’ve thanked you for allowing me to keep in touch with you and for allowing me to share in your life, even if it’s from a distance, and now I know that God is using your heart, your life, your experiences to reach out to those of us who really need to hear Him speak. I would be remiss if I didn’t thank you once again for being the vessel and for simply sharing your journey.

    Thank you.

  3. Kimmie says:

    So beautiful. And I think the reassuring whisper is definitely a word from Him (to all of us). It’s true that we can often think He is just impatient with us… but what a loving Father He is… and He is SO GOOD! Love you, friend!

  4. Laura says:

    Tasha, this made me cry. I love you and it hurts me to know that you are hurting so badly 😥 God wouldn’t have put such a desire in your heart if He wasn’t going to fulfill it…it just may not be the way you are expecting. There may be a baby/child out there waiting or one on the way that needs to know the love of God the way that you do. I’m praying for you, friend *bear hug*

  5. Laura says:

    p.s. the picture at the top of your blog makes me miss our coffee dates…I wish we could get together to talk in person!

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