Not Looking Back

Recently, my friend Kimmie told me that as much as she misses the times when her son was a snugly little newborn, she wouldn’t want to go back to that time because there is so much about her son as he is right now that she would miss. That thought has been sitting with me.

As much as it would sometimes be easier to go back to being a simple kid swimming at the community pool all summer long, or a carefree single adult doing whatever I wanted to do….and avoid the responsibilities and difficulties that come with being a married adult with a mortgage, a job, complications, etc…. I wouldn’t want to go back and lose everything that I have right now with Chad and our friends and where God has brought us.

I don’t want to look back.
I don’t want to go back.
God has me here. Right now.
Even still, I want to enjoy the right now and not gaze too longingly into the future. Why is it so hard to live in the moment? I am constantly thinking about when I am done with school, or when we pay off a car loan, or when we can travel to visit so-and-so, or when I can finally be a mommy. But God has me here right now. I need to focus on what it is about right now – in the present – that I am supposed to be soaking up before it also becomes part of the past. Just a memory.

Right now:
I have a seemingly unending amount of time to spend with my Hubby Chad.
I have time to spend with friends whenever it becomes available.
I am learning so much in school and becoming a better writer.
Unless I am working an early shift or have church, I can sleep in and enjoy a full night’s rest.
I can dedicate the disposable income we have to travel plans or entertainment, rather than diapers and formula.
I don’t need to be on anyone else’s schedule.

The list could keep going.
I have so much to be grateful for right now.
Oh, that my heart could be content in the moment.

What about you?
What are you able to enjoy in your life right here and right now?
What things might you be taking for granted?


One comment on “Not Looking Back

  1. Cora says:

    Latetly I’ve been wishing I was still pregnant…for a few reasons: it was easier than the day to day-ness of a baby and because I was less self conscience about being overweight because I was SUPPOSED to be big, lol. But really it’s just me not wanting to face today. To actually get off my butt and exercise, for example.

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